Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Time for the casting couch and Harding ♫ we’ll always love you ♫

Acting is a very frustrating and interesting business full of angst and ego deflation. If this were my living, we’d be on food stamps. I am beginning to think it is time to throw my ethics out the window and allow my charms to be displayed on the casting couch. I have been to many auditions but only a few times have I had a call back to even have a chance for getting the part. And, those have been student films. True, I’ve been in paid commercials, but I want movies – regular movies. Therefore, my thinking is that the casting couch may be the way to go. I only know of two casting directors in Oklahoma City. They are Chris Friehofer of the Actor Factory and Michelle De Long of Actors Casting and Talent Service. Both are cute so I guess the first one to cast me in a movie can have my services. (CHRIS, IS THIS GOOD NEWS, OR WHAT?)

Actually, things have actually been a little busy lately. Nike is casting a commercial with Kevin Durant and they are looking for basketball playing actors to audition. When the notice came out about the spot, they sent word they needed actors who could play basketball. Having played both football and baseball, I was familiar with those games. Basketball wasn’t on my radar screen. No point in applying here! Then the producers changed their mind and said anyone could apply. I was in Kansas City to see my daughter and her family when I saw the notice and it noted that a member of the Nike staff was going to be on hand to give instruction, or at least that was the way I took the notice – and I am trainable. They were looking for several types of people for the spot.

One group, ages 30-45, was bankers playing a pickup game at lunch. A group of truckers 35-55 playing a pickup game at a truck stop. A farming family 6-60 in the country playing a pickup game, and the last was a group in a retirement center aged 70-85. I was custom made for several of the older groups, and I even have my own pair of Nike tennis shoes. Perfect. I asked my agent to submit my name. My son-in-law, a good athlete, offered to give me a few pointers on the game like dribbling and shooting. We took his basketball to his backyard hoop to practice. However, the ball was dead flat, as in pancake. It just would go splat when bounced. So we practiced the best we could with some shots and I got so I could hit the backboard once in about 10 shots. Hey, I’m a golfer not a basketballer.

Besides the ball being flat, I was summoned to audition in the 30-45 year old category. Great!! Anyway, I showed up for the audition at a gym in Norman. And, basketball ability WAS a criteria. I could look through the gym doors and see other auditioners out there actually playing basketball. When it was my turn to go inside the gym along with five others, the Nike folks explained the scenario to us. We were to play three-on-three basketball dressed in suit and ties. We were allowed to take off our coats. We lined up to have a short interview. They asked the usual question “what is your name?’ Then they wanted to know your height (5’9 in my case and at that I was three inches shorter that the next person in the group). They wanted to know our basketball experience. I said I had a 13 year old grandson who was very good and I saw most of his games (DID THAT COUNT?). Others were high school stars or had hoops in their driveways. I knew I was outclassed plus I was many years older than the others. Why wasn’t I placed in the 70-85 group? I might have had a chance there. Anyway, I did not get the part. Still can’t figure why they asked us non-basketball players to apply or why I was put into such a young group. GROUSE, GROUSE, GROUSE

The next one I thought I might have a shot at was a butler for a Riverwind Casino commercial. Butlering I do know. Is that even a word? Did you know that plates on a table should be placed two feet apart center to center? The knife should be turned so the sharp edge is pointed inward and placed on the right side of the plate? The history behind this is that knights of yore when they sat down at the table if they turned their swords inward they were on a peaceful mission. An outward turned knife meant they may have a hostile intent in them. And I know “BMW”. No – not the car, even though I am a car dealer. BMW refers to the way you place the Bread, Main course, and Water. Left to right. This way you always know which bread plate is yours. See you can learn something in this blog. However, I never even got called for this one. So I did not get to tell them what I knew. When I was in college, I earned spending money as a houseboy at the Gamma Phi Beta sorority house of OU, so I’m trained.

Now don’t I look like a butler?

I did film a movie at my old high school alma mater one Saturday a few weeks ago. The name is Mi Vida Mi Carga (My Life My Burden). This was an Oklahoma City Community College student film with a very talented director. Since I did not ask his permission to use his name in this blog I can not tell you that or what the movie is about. But, it is a very good film. Some talented acting friends of mine are in the movie. Paul Lister, Cait Brasel, and Leslie Hippensteel are cast and are quite good. I played the producer of a play inside the movie. It was filmed in the auditorium at Harding High School in Oklahoma City where I was graduated 52 years ago. I have actually been on that stage once in those years. On Veteran’s Day two years ago, they had a ceremony honoring veterans who had been in the service and had fought in a war. My claim to that title is that I am a former Navy officer and a Vietnam War veteran. They wanted us to tell the students about our experience. The only previous time I had come close to being on that stage (other than walking across it to receive my diploma) was when I tried out for the school play my senior year. I was cast as a German soldier in the play The Diary of Anne Frank. My audition was for Mr. Dussel, the dentist who shared the living quarters with the Frank family.

The drama coach, Aleece Locke, told me I had the best audition but because I had never taken a drama class, she felt she had to give it to one of her students. As consolation, I was given the soldier part. I did sign for drama class my last semester at Harding and the fact that Miss Oklahoma and Miss America 2nd runner up in 1957, Nancy Denner, was the student teacher was a good enough reason for me. My line, the best I can remember, was (forgive my spelling) zum offnen der tur schnell schnell schnell or something similar. Sina, my very pretty and young acting buddy, who has now returned to Germany, will have to set me straight on the translation. The words are supposed to mean -- open the door – hurry hurry hurry. I think. However, alas, as my acting career goes – Miss Locke decided to play a recording of the original Broadway play with those particular lines. So I never got to say them. Does that bother me? NAH – but you see I’m writing about it some 52 years after the fact. What would a psychiatrist make of that?

My latest foray into acting was securing a part in an Integris Health Edmond commercial for their new hospital. Even though it was not a speaking part I did get good “face time” (show biz parlance) as a person walking with my stage wife into the hospital. Check out the site by using the following link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=N1Zd-MATfXw

Keep checking the blog. Sometime, someone besides my wife and mother will think I deserve a shot at a movie part. Meanwhile, I’m auditioning casting directors for whom I’ll sleep on the casting couch. My ad reads: Energetic, younger-looking older guy volunteering to sleep on couch in exchange for part in movie.” Do I need to add personal statistics to that? Of course, that ad does mean they can use my services to sleep over as a night watchman. What ELSE could it possibly mean?

Also, check out the 48 hour movie I was involved with and then check out my previous blog. Amazing what can be done in 48 hours.

http://vimeo.com/30112952