Is THIS how DeNiro started?

The first time I remember being on stage was in Ms. Marshall’s fourth grade music class at Putnam Heights elementary in OKC. It was to be the traditional recital for all the students and parents in the school auditorium. A chorus of students on stage faced the audience with another class member in front, with his back to the audience, facing the class, and leading them in a song. To my disappointment several students were asked to lead each song, but I was not one of them. So I volunteered myself. Ms. Marshall took pity on me and said she might allow me to be the leader of one song - providing I did not sing! That’s right. We Richardson’s have never been known for our singing talents. She relented and I led the song while mouthing the words.

I never really cared for her after that. Once as she was skulking around the room spying on us, she noticed that I had drawn a picture of her on my paper. It was not a flattering likeness. She snatched my paper and pulled my hair at the same time. This was in the days before my flattop. Back in those days, my mother must have been a stockholder in Wildroot Cream Oil. I think she bought it by the truck load. My hair was so gooped up with the stuff, Ms. M’s hand slid right off my hair. So she did it again. Same result. She then wiped her hand all over my shirt. What is it about my hair? Always seems to get me in trouble.

I wrote previously that I did not memorize much while growing up. I had forgotten about songs. In Ms. Marshall’s class, we repeatedly sang “The Battle Hymn of the Republic”. I did not know until several years later, that the song was a Yankee song. I wish we had spent more time on “Dixie” instead of a song glorifying the “War of Northern Aggression”. Another reason not to adore her.

I tried out for the part of Albert Dussel in “The Diary of Anne Frank” during my senior year in high school. Mr. Dussel was a dentist who lived with the Franks in their hideout. According to Miss Locke, I did the best job of auditioning, but since I had never had drama before she said she had to give it to one of her enrolled students. But, I did join her drama class the last semester of my senior year. The fact that Nancy Denner, 1957 Miss Oklahoma and Miss America 2nd runner up was the student teacher was a plus as far as I was concerned. Unfortunately I wasn’t Mr. Dussel, but I did get a part in the play as a German storm trooper arresting the Frank family. My line, “Auf Machen, Da Drennen Schnell, schnell, schnell (or something like that). Not exactly sure about the translation. For all I know it could have been, “Your pizza is here”. I spent hours perfecting my craft, my German accent and my vivid facial expressions. I knew those lines. As it turned out, Miss Locke decided to use a recording off stage.

I did play Wiley Post once in a Lyric Theatre production of the “Will Rogers Follies”. I sat in the audience, standing only to talk to Will during one of the scenes. The dramatic and memorable line from that was “Let’s go flying, Will!”

My other world class line was when I was a butler for 11 performances in the musical “The Mystery of Edmund Drood” performed by the Lyric Theatre. My wife was on the board of this great community musical theatre group at the time and I had an IN. My line!! “The goose is cooked”. I was to bring a goose on a covered silver platter to a dining table. The platter looked silver from the audience’s viewpoint, but in reality it was silver painted rubber and had a rubber silver dome over the plastic goose (turkey actually). The prop lady would put a small empty tuna can on the tray with water and dry ice. The idea being that when I said my line, I would open the lid and seemingly steam would come out as though the goose was just out of the oven. At first, the rubber tray and dome leaked like a sieve and the steam never appeared. It would disappear as I was walking on stage toward the dinner table. One time, I was determined to make that sucker hold the steam. I pushed that lid hard down on the tray to make it air tight, and then when I opened it all this glorious steam would appear to the audience and those at the dinner table. I walked out stiffly as butlers are wont to do, said the first part of my line, ”the goose is”, raised the lid. Not a goose to be seen. Nowhere. At least, not on the platter – where could a goose go? I had squished the lid so tightly that the goose/turkey had become stuck in the lid. And, the lid was facing the audience as well as the male and female lead who were getting ready to sing to dinner guests. I thought those two were going to lose it entirely. I replaced the lid, wiggled it around some, released the tension holding the goose, raised the lid again, the goose magically reappeared on the platter, and proudly pronounced, “THE GOOSE IS COOKED”, and took my glorious leave.

Head Shots

In order to go anywhere in this business, you need to have a head shot. Did I want to appear cocky? Sexy? Mean? This photograph is likely the only chance you have to attract a director of a movie or a television show. Needs to be an attention grabber. From what I understand, these directors go through these head shots with one of those rubberized thumbs and toss them immediately if the photo is not what they are casting. After all, you can only make one first impression. So, if I want to be an actor, I have to go through that exercise and make a photo that will give a great first impression.

That happened this week. I went to a seminar Tuesday evening, at the Actor Factory in Norman, that was given by the photographer who was to take my picture. I learned what to wear or more specifically what to bring to the photo shoot. “Wear clothes that bring out your eyes.” That is most important. Pathetically, I am a Ken doll. I really mean it. For years, Joy has laid out my clothes. She tells me I have no sense of color. Yeah, and that from a lady who makes her living by painting red, orange and pink together on canvas. When I was actually making a living by working in a legitimate profession (car selling), she had my suits hanging all in order in my closet according to the day of the week with a shirt and tie combined. Or, maybe a sport coat with slacks, tie, and shirt. I did get to pick out my wild suspenders (I was into those at that time), and underwear. I like bright colored boxers. Oops!! Too much information.

We (she) chose the clothes I was to take for the shoot. And, the photographer liked what she picked. The photographer, Jeff Nicholson, has photographed some of the biggest names in the movie and television industry. Lucky for HIM, he is getting ready to photograph a new and rising star. He has shot Jay Mohr, Cameron Diaz, Monika Lewinsky, (I may have to become a Democrat), Matt LeBlanc, Anne Heche and many others.

I arrive early as it has been ingrained in me that you always need to be on time. “Do not make the director wait.” Since Jeff was my director, I was there in plenty of time. I knew that there was to be a make up artist, but I was under the impression that was girl stuff. Was I ever wrong!! The first thing that happened was that I was seated in one of those tall director’s chairs and Donna Fowler, the really talented make-up artist, began working on me. I don’t do makeup. There actually have been the unusual times though. Such as this last Halloween, when (my Ken doll persona now appears) my wife makes me up as “Octomom.” Large red lips, eyeliner, long black stringy hair, big belly, and a sling with eight babies.

Donna went after me with all sorts of brushes with which she paints my face. It wasn’t until I saw my finished pictures I realized I was wearing lipstick. Then she took these gigantic scissors and starts on my face like she is a gardener pruning a beautiful plant. She cut hair in places I did not even know I had. Nose (inside and out), ears, eyebrows, and she even cut the two hairs on my chest I had been growing for 68 years. I said a small eulogy over them, not able to take them home for a proper burial. But, she quit after that. Thank goodness. I thought she was going after my armpits and perhaps lower to other hair I possess.

I then took my place before the camera. As it turned out, Jeff shot 252 pictures of me. My childhood scrapbook is leaner than that. I have seen things like this on television where the photographer is always snapping and says move here, do this, turn your head and so forth. Well, that is what I was experiencing. I simpered, smiled, scowled, for almost two hours, having changed clothes several times. Casual, dressy, western, and not only did I have to change clothes, I ran the gamut of expressions. With a suit I am either a nice businessman or a slimy attorney. With western, a good cowboy or a black-hat type of guy.

Overall it was a great fun and Jeff made it that way. He will now help me find the right one or two shots that will end up being my head shot to take to an agent. That is the next step: to convince an agent that I am someone they want for a product. He even suggested I put some shots on this blog and let my followers (both of you) vote on which one to use.

Stay tuned more coming.

Back Booth at the Boomerang

As a class assignment, we were given a whole menu of monologues from which to choose. I considered one about a man who was addicted to cigarettes and had to give a talk on the evils of smoking. I decided not do this one since the guy was wearing a “Colombo” type raincoat that he needed to be removed. Having to memorize a 2-3 minute talk was hard enough I thought! But, having to work with a prop sounded tricky and was more than I could comprehend as a beginner. Alissa gave us the option of choosing our own monologue and submitting it for approval. Two pieces came to memory.

Kevin Costner played a minor league baseball play in the movie “Bull Durham”. He delivered a monologue where he described what he believed in. It was shorter than the others. That had great appeal. But there were two words in it that I had a hard time saying. I did not grow up around that kind of language and I do not use it, even in front of men. Plus, there were two 14 year old girls in the class. The idea made me uncomfortable. So I passed.

The second one was given by Matthew McConaughey in the movie “A Time to Kill”. He played a lawyer defending a black man accused of murdering two white men who raped his 10-year-old daughter. His summation speech in front of the jury was riveting. Yet again, it included some language and portrayed some images that I would feel uncomfortable saying in front of young girls. However, I could do this in front of an older group.

I really liked the monologue I used. A man loses his wife in a poker game. Actually, I sense in that he probably threw the game. It was just the right length and even though I had blown it when I originally gave it, I did just fine the final class, having finally paid attention to the instructions Alissa had given me.

Alissa assigns lines from a scene in a movie or play to be delivered with another. “H” and I get a scene from the play “Proof” which was later turned into a movie. The movie starred Anthony Hopkins (my part) and Gwyneth Paltrow (her part). Great fun. It starts out as a rather mundane talk between father and daughter, but ends up with them arguing at the end. Where do we practice arguing? The place we took lessons had no rooms in which to practice. The OU library would not allow us to use one of their rooms since I did not have a student ID. Ditto Norman library without a card. Before the next class, we decided to meet at Panera Bread and go over our lines. I got there a little early and the place was jammed. I found a table in the middle of the crowded dining area. Not going to work out. Turns out there was an animal adoption meeting, or something like that, and many people showed up to support that particular agency.

Needing to find another place, I drove past the Boomerang and noticed few cars in the lot. This was a favorite of mine when I was in college. A back booth looked very promising and no one was that close to the booth I picked. I called “H” told her of the change of plans and she joined me. Now this was the interesting part. The scene calls for moving around, standing up, gathering books, and papers, etc. But, that is hard to do in a booth. So we just said our lines to each other over a Theta burger and a Frito chili pie. Some of the lines require each of us at one time or the other stepping on the lines of the other and then later raising our voices. But, because we were in a public place we would have felt like fools doing it. Therefore, we went to class knowing the lines, but without the actions that go with it.

Alissa was great about directing us in what we should do, giving me a greater appreciation of what a director does. Alissa loaned me her copy of the play. It was flat on paper. Her explanation of how to give it zing was impressive. The next Thursday, we were again in the back booth at the Boomerang and went over our lines several times, this time over her salad and my jalapeño poppers and onion rings. Don’t get those at home. But, still locked into a booth. As we delivered it again to the class, Alissa taught us how to embolden the characters. The last night is upon us and we still have not had a private practice. My office in OKC would have been a good place, but it is a long drive for her as a student so we nixed that. We could not take our accustomed place at the back booth at the Boomerang because she had a test that evening but would be out in time for class. Even so, we felt we had it perfect, including the actions necessary to the scene, because of what Alissa had taught us in class. "H” reaches me on my cell phone in class and tells me that once she finished her test and went to her car, it would not start because of a dead battery. She would miss class. So, as it turns out my debut scene was not to be. But, for the last time, I gave my monologue and quite well I thought. I can hear it now, “And the Oscar goes to …….”

Monologues are a necessary tool in your repertoire if you wish to try out for a stage production. Apparently, that is often the case at those auditions. That talk is now thoroughly imbedded in my head. I say it to myself while driving, showering, and laying in bed when I awake in the middle of the night. I can get up and say it at anytime. Just ask me if you have 3 1/2 minutes to spare. But, I still have to do some scene work because I am not going for a part in a play. At my age, I don't have time to start in community theatre and work up. I have to go for the full boat. I see myself as a star of television or movies. Missing the fun part (a true dialogue) is a bummer as I want the interaction of doing a scene with another. But, there are more lessons on the horizon so I'll have other opportunities.

There is a word that keeps popping up at the most inappropriate times. I hear it here, I hear it there, and I hear it everywhere. It is a little thing I am starting to worry about. I feel confident I can prepare for an audition, but the word “talent” keeps appearing.

Yes and No

Envisioning myself as a "leading man", I met my fellow thespians for the first of our eight weeks of Thursday evening acting classes. As I mentioned earlier, sadly, I was the oldest in the class. We sat around the lobby of The Actor Factory getting to know one another. Chris, the boss, was there to greet us as well as our instructor, Alissa. At 8:00, we went into the room to begin preparing for our Oscar's. We went around the room introducing ourselves and giving our names and what brought us here. Most were students in either high school or college, but a few had jobs. But all were bright young people. Chip Hoover was a petroleum landman who, on several occasions, drove in from assignments in Texas or the far corners of Oklahoma to attend class with his lovely wife Leah. Leah will appear in the next "Twilight Saga: Eclipe" movie. This will hit the theatres in June 2010. I have heard it is about vampires. Robin Garner is a very cute and perky English teacher from a small town close to Shawnee and my first scene partner. "C" was a student from Edmond and another "C" was a student from Moore. Normanda Pelton, a beautiful young lady who had just graduated from high school in Little Axe. "V", an OU student, was a natural born Russian of Korean descent and did a marvelous job of saying all his lines in English even though his native tongue was Russian. "A" was a student finishing high school and was gearing up for Hollywood. "H", my back-booth-Boomerang-buddy, was from the Dallas area and a freshman at OU majoring in anthropology. There were just four of us guys in the class. Great ratio if I were (Joy and I disagree on the use of "was" or "were" here. She said, "when it is contrary to fact...blah, blah, blah, blah". She won) 40-50 years younger.

Our first exercise was just to warm up. Stand and relax and get into your body. Stretch, wiggle your arms, legs, rotate your neck, breathe in and then out loudly, jump around and make a lot of noise (this to release your inhibitions), and then make your tongue get the peanut butter from all areas of your mouth. This limbers your tongue so you can speak better. A few more exercises and then we started the learning part. These warm up exercises were a part of every class.

Alissa matched us up with other students for our first experience in this new field. Robin and I were partners. She is a first time, high school English teacher. She amused us with the interesting things her students would say to her in class. Such as the time a 15-year old student raised his hand and asked "Mrs. "R", how often do you have sex"? Say, I bet she could answer my "was or were" grammar question.

Our assignment was to say "Yes" and "No" to each other until our teacher told us to stop. We did this for about 20 minutes. Seemed like three hours. But, we almost told a story in this time. You say that for awhile and then one might raise his voice louder and the other would naturally follow. Saying it lower the other would follow. Put a little whine emphasis in the word "yes" and the other might come back with a resounding 'NO". Interesting how that worked. Then we were asked to come up with a scenario for our partnership. We decided we were husband and wife and I wanted to buy a new flat screen television for the home. And, she did not. No matter how much, I pleaded "yes", she never got off that damn "no". Still no other words except yes and no. After another long period, Alissa had us start convincing the other person with actual arguments instead of yes and no. I put up all the logical arguments for a flat panel televison set: football and basketball could be seen better, golf courses would look more plush, watching NASCAR races would seem like we were in the driver's seat. Robin had all the illogical comebacks: too expensive, no room, too expensive, too big, cost too much, where would be put it, not in our budget. As you can see, I had all the winning ideas on my side. But, she threw in a clinker. "We just bought one last week!!! We don't NEED two!!! Well, that was hard to overcome. My fate was sealed. Now I have an inkling into why I never seem to win at home. I will bet her husband doesn't either. Women will just out maneuver you.

Once the exercise was finished, we discussed our thinking and rationale about the Yes and No experience. It was interesting, but I was ready to get onto the why we were here. To learn to act.

The Class - Acting Technique

When I first auditioned as an extra in the movie "The Killer Inside Me", I drove to Guthrie. After waiting in the long long line that snaked through the hallway and then into the cafeteria at Guthrie High School, I finally hit the sign in area. I was number 168. At the end of the line was Chris Friehofer (I asked him if I could use his name), the casting director. He greeted me with his big friendly smile and then showed me where to go to fill in the paperwork. The sheet was to be filled in with the usual questions. Name, address, phone number and then others pertinent to the film. Would you be willingly to travel to Enid, Guthrie, Oklahoma City, Tulsa, or Cordell? I answered yes to Oklahoma City, Guthrie, and Enid. I went to Enid Highschool for my sophomore and part of my junior years so here was a chance to return. But, the question that I know absolutely shot me down (besides the hat hair problem) was, "Would you be willing to cut your hair"? WHAT!!! That was absolutely out of the question. Do they realize how long it took me to grow this and get it trained?? I spent my highschool and college years with a flattop and the Navy years with a burr. It took me too long to get this hair the way I like it. Plus, at my age I still have it and it is still dark. Unfortunately, some of my friends are getting a little thin and graying. Cut my hair? = deal breaker!! Therefore, the answer to that question was another reason I must have been bypassed. However, for a speaking part, we all have our price.

I digress. Chris is a talented casting agent in Norman who also owns a company (The Actor Factory) that specializes in teaching various aspects of the acting business. Acting, voice overs, character study, how to audition, how to act before a camera and more. I had no idea there was so much to this business.

I signed up for the an eight week course on acting and character study with Alissa Millar (the before named "A". She has given me permission to use her name.). This young lady is an actor (I notice that both men and women refer to themselves as actors) and is also currently a professor of drama at OU. She is a marvelous professor. She has a great way of bringing everyone in the class onto her side and making them all feel at home. Plus, I never had professors that pretty at OU.

I am sure you have seen old western movies where every child no matter what grade, was taught in the same small classroom. It could be kindergarten through eighth grade. Well, that was my class. Only this was a pre-school through graduate school age difference and then some. I walked into the class expecting to see some older students. The only old student I saw in the class was me when I looked into the bathroom mirror. The best guess I can make is that I was 43 years older than the closest student to me and 54 years older than the youngest. Did I ever feel out of place!! We had two in our class that were 14.

Well, suck it up Jerry you've paid your money. And I did, but as I mentioned earlier, Alissa was terrific about making you feel you belonged there.

I bet you have never wondered what YES and NO have to do with acting.