GAWD - Am I ever vain

Vain? ME? I’ve been known to walk out the door with a piece of toilet paper still stuck to my chin from a shaving cut, ‘cause I never look in the mirror. I never thought myself vain. WRONG!! Since I had my 252 head shots taken several weeks ago I have looked at them 253 times. I had no idea that I would be spending SOOO much time squinting, comparing, and admiring, but evaluating the need for eyelid bag surgery. This is just to pick out the one stellar shot that would get me that audition that will win me an Oscar (or at least get me a job). However, I did find a comrade to help me with the process. Dorothy Shaw, a beautiful lady in one of my acting classes, had her head shots taken by the same photographer as I (Jeff Nicholson). We decided to collaborate. She is a very talented graphic designer and has great equipment (no pun intended). She has a large monitor (I insist – no pun intended) and we could stack photos and compare our pictures on it side by side and see the many flaws. FLAWS – that would be me - NOT HER. Dorothy has been through this process before and I often see her on television commercials in Oklahoma City.

After loading the disk I had received from Jeff containing my 252 photos onto my computer, I started admiring me. A magnifying glass critique was scary. And, I was extremely critical of me. Too many wrinkles, eyes too squinty, not enough of my sexy Paul Newman blue eyes showing (magnified, they were kind of sexy – at least I thought), not smiling, not frowning, looking loopy, not enough eye showing, not smiling, not frowning, not looking correctly, head turned the wrong way, too many wrinkles, too many wrinkles, too many wrinkles. Not one made a George Clooney out of me! I decided that none would work, but since I wasn’t planning on going through this process again, I’d better choose one. Having been photographed in the four different outfits that I wore for the shoot, I intended to pick one picture from each change of clothes.

I picked a total of 42 pictures that I thought had a chance of making the cut and then traipsed off to Dorothy’s studio to have them displayed on her computer. She and I narrowed it to 13. Dorothy had over 300 pictures taken, but that Jeff’s all male. If I were Jeff, I would take more photos of her also. We narrowed hers down to a workable number. Then we emailed them to Jeff in Hollywood to get his idea. After all, he should know what the studios want and he seemed delighted to help us.

Several days later he emailed us the results. Well, it is evident that we do not know what the studios want since he picked very few of mine. Dorothy fared a little better. He sent us the photos that he thought were winners. He waxed enthusiastic telling me they were just certain to get me auditions in Oklahoma and Texas. WHAT!! Doesn’t he understand that my plan is to get to Hollywood?

This is tough. Back to the drawing board at Dorothy’s. Scrutinizing the lot, we picked the best of his best. I showed them to my wife and she also agreed. After all, it was Joy, my wardrobe mistress, who picked the outfits I was to wear. As I mentioned earlier, since we (she) had chosen four outfits, I wanted four shots. However, as it turned out one outfit was just not of quality befitting a star, so I discarded it leaving me with three. Jeff was very complimentary about several shots I had taken in a blue suit and I chose one that represented a grave, thoughtful, and serious person. That face could be an accountant or a mob boss. My dresser, having included a red (go OU!) fleece(I dont't even know what fleece is) jacket made me smile, and we decided to go with that look. One was John Wayne – ish. Since some cowboy type movies could easily be filmed in Oklahoma, I just had to include that version of me. But, now the magic comes into play. PHOTOSHOP. Jeff took away some wrinkles, did some other touchup techniques and voila´. I have my shots.

Those you see attached below are the ones that will move me along on the next step to an acting career. Dorothy already has an agent and she has told me she will introduce me to her. Now I need to prove to the agent that I am a product she can market.

BY THE WAY, FEEL FREE TO USE ANY OR ALL OF THESE AS YOUR SCREEN SAVER